We are off to Canada today! We have only been back for Christmas once since moving to California, which was 8 years ago, and are soooo excited to spend the holidays with family and friends in our home and native land! YAY!! I hope you have special plans too 😉
Unfortunately along with the joy, the holidays can bring-up a bunch of stuff too. When we have such a history with people, it’s not uncommon for old hurts and resentments to reappear. I love Eckhart Tolle’s take on this from his book, The Power of Now, and I rerun this article every year at this time. It’s a great reminder 🙂
Have a beautiful weekend and the Merriest of Christmases for those of you celebrating!
In Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth, he describes the pain-body as, “…a semi autonomous energy-form that lives within most human beings, an entity made up of emotion. It has its own primitive intelligence, not unlike a cunning animal, and its intelligence is directed primarily at survival. Like all life-forms, it periodically needs to feed – to take in new energy – and the food it requires to replenish itself consists of energy that is compatible with its own, which is to say, energy that vibrates at a similar frequency. Any emotionally painful experience can be used as food by the pain-body.”
Pretty heavy stuff, I know. Essentially what he is saying is that even though we don’t want to believe it, there is a part in all of us that feeds off of negative thinking and that actually likes drama! This is called the ego. It’s the need to be right, it’s the inner child that needs to be loved and causes all kinds of drama to get the attention it desires, and it’s that part of us that pushes other people’s buttons on purpose! Yes, we’ve all done it. It’s okay to come clean.
Tolle goes on to explain that the Pain-Body is usually triggered by a situation that is affiliated with a certain kind of emotional pain suffered in the past. This is why most people’s Pain-Bodies come out at family events. We tend to hang on to a lot of past hurts and resentments when it comes to our families. Imagine all of this coming to the table in one seating! Ahhh!!!!
Tolle says the best way to lose identification with the Pain-Body is to recognize it when it comes out. Acknowledge the pain and negative emotion you are feeling. Just being aware of it is really all that you need. Tolle says, “The knowing prevents the old emotion from rising up into your head and taking over not only the internal dialogue, but also your actions as well as interactions with other people.”
I’ve also read another book of his, The Power of Now, which I particularly resonate with. In this book, he shares a lot on how to deal with the emotions and how to shift them. When you are filled with love underneath the pain, you will set yourself free. Notice the love underneath when heavy emotion arises. Take a few breaths and realize it’s there. This will help you return to a place of love, and to be able to respond versus react. It will help you to keep the calm and peace inside yourself regardless of how others are behaving. The great thing is the more you behave in this manner, it cannot not affect the people in your life.
I suggest grabbing a copy of either book (or both), and start reading it right away. This will help to enhance your holiday experience and relationships in general.
Have a wonderful holiday!